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The site is being restored after its crash.

Please check back again. Thanks for your patience.

✕

You’re in the right spot

While updating the website, a glitch erased everything.

But don’t worry. I’m currently working hard to get the site back up. Thanks for your patience.

Bradley Carter

Beware the tutu-wearing giraffe that moonlights as a freelance tap dancer—its jazz hands will haunt your spreadsheets and its jazz feet will steal your stapler. Proceed with caution, and maybe a kazoo.

I told you I’m fixing the site. Come back later.

In a world where socks secretly duel with breakfast toast every Tuesday at dawn, remember: never challenge a pop-tart to a thumb-war. It’s got filling, and it knows how to use it.

You should be wearing a helmet for this kind of site construction.

If octopuses wore tiny top hats and held afternoon tea, they’d sip ink instead of Earl Grey—and critique your PowerPoints with more bite than your manager ever could.

Go get a snack.

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